Jamie Dimon’s recent expletive-laden rant to staff leaves little doubt over the JP Morgan boss’ stance on working from home.

The multinational bank recently ordered more than 317,000 employees globally to resume in-person working five days a week starting March. Around 40% of its staff have enjoyed a hybrid working arrangement since the pandemic, spending three days in the office per week.

But at the bank’s townhall in Columbus, Ohio, on 12 February, Dimon was respectfully asked whether managers could have discretion to approve hybrid schedules, especially for staff who do not need to be physically present in offices.

The question was politely raised by tech ops analyst Nicholas Welch, who explained that his closest colleagues were based across multiple different time zones, and that his direct line manager had recently moved to Florida, making his need to be in the office somewhat redundant. 

The JP Morgan chief’s response was unequivocal. “There is no chance that I would leave that up to managers. Zero chance. The abuse that took place was extraordinary,” Dimon said in a recording obtained by Forbes.

He added that no promises had been made to retain hybrid working forever and that it “wasn’t his problem” if you had moved out of state, away from your former office. Dimon also warned managers that junior workers were being “left behind” by pandemic-era arrangements that do not allow for efficient training and mentorship.

“The other thing that was full of s*** that I couldn’t stand listening to anymore was, ‘Well, if I come in I just Zoom to people somewhere’. You had people Zooming in from different floors. If you’re in the building, go to the meeting,” he said. 

“A lot of you were on the f****** Zoom doing the following: looking at your mail, sending texts to each other about what an a****** the other person is, not paying attention, not reading your stuff. If you don’t think that slows down efficiency, creativity, creates rudeness – it does. You don’t do that in my goddamn meetings.”

He continued: “And don’t give me that s*** that ‘working from home Friday’ works. I call a lot of people on Friday and there’s not a goddamn person to get a hold of.”

Dimon admitted some flexibility was needed, especially for female employees who are caregivers, before adding that everyone had a choice as to whether they continued working at JP Morgan and that, “We didn’t build this great company by doing the same semi-diseased s*** that everyone else does.”

While some commentators have clutched their collective pearls and described Dimon’s diatribe as “foul-mouthed” or “vulgar”, his comments aren’t explicitly aggressive in the recording. Indeed, many of his comments were received with laughter from staff. Instead, what we should be focusing on is what happened after the townhall. 

According to reports, Welch received a text from a former superior, Garrett Monaghan, stating: “I don’t know what the f*** you just did, but come to my desk immediately when that town hall ends. Please.” 

Welch met Monaghan in a conference room with another ex-boss, Jeffrey Todd Merrill. There Welch alleges that Monaghan told him he had “just dragged our whole organisation through the mud. Go and clean off your desk and get the f*** out of here”. 

Welch was convinced he had been terminated. But later that day he received a call from Megan Mead, the bank’s director of global IT support, who said she had “smoothed things over” and that he could return to work. 

A spokesperson for the bank says Welch was never fired, remains in good standing, and that the analyst “didn’t say anything wrong in the townhall”.

So, all’s well that ends well? Not quite. While no one ever said the world of high finance is for the meek, being told to clear out your desk for politely seeking clarification on a major policy shift affecting thousands of co-workers could be suggestive of a culture of fear; that dissent, however respectful, will not be brooked. 

What does that say about maintaining a healthy speak-up culture in an industry that failed so spectacularly less than two decades ago?

On this question, it is worth noting that, during his townhall exchange with Welch, Dimon also railed against “creeping” corporate bureaucracy, including training and “legal risk compliance” classes, that are “a waste of time”, and which, to his mind, contributed to the failure of several formerly leading financial institutions.

“It’s unacceptable to me,” he said. “What happened to Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, Travelers, Citibank, 100% of mortgage brokers? All bankrupt, everyone fired, jobs lost, reputations lost, and it was complacency and bureaucracy in every single case.”